today the ritual of cutting my own hair means that I am starting a new part of my life. Tomorrow is my second day of school. I missed my first day of school yesterday due to insufficient funds in my bank account.
what if I cant get a seat close to the front of the class. I don’t have money for a new pair of glasses and all the people I love in my life are poor, struggling and trying to deal and I cant lean on them for support. also im not particularly an ambitious person, I may getting complacent and giving up.
I feel 17 again, near the of the first semester of my last year of high school, when my principle outed me to my mother while expelling me from school for making a painting of a dude liking a another dudes bulge and titleing the work “blowjob”. and then my mother kicking me out the next day. Im feeling all those feelings. and I thought maybe being bald might make me think of something else.
okay now im going to give myself a hair cut.